6 Ways to Help Someone Struggling With Mental Health or Suicidal Thoughts
As we near the end of September, I would like to highlight something near and dear to my heart - National Suicide Prevention Month. I don’t have all the answers, truly, I do not. But, I have lost someone close to me from mental illness and have others in my close circle who struggle.
Suicide is the 12th leading cause of death in the U.S and does not discrimanate between gender, age or social class. And while suicide affects all ages, there are certain groups that have higher suicide rates than most.
Recovery and treatment can be complex and is usually different for everyone. The thing we must do is help ourselves and others navigate the different options. Getting in to see a physician is important and most people do well on a combination of treatment that includes one or more of: medications, psychotherapy, and activities for self-care and wellbeing.
One of the hardest things for people who want to help is to know how to help and what to say. What do you say to someone who is struggling with mental health or thinking about suicide? How do you show them you care without making them feel worse?
I know from personal experience that it is often more hurtful to ignore and not reach out to someone than to say the wrong thing. Here are some other recommended tips:
Be there for them. Loneliness is perhaps the greatest of human aches. Showing up for someone, showing them you care and that they are not alone in their struggle is one of the greatest ways you can show support.
Ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking how they are doing (“fine!”), ask questions like “how long have you been feeling this way” and “have you felt this way before”?
Then listen, Listen with empathy, without interruption and without rushing away to an appointment. It can be hard to listen without projecting your personal feelings or circumstances, but truly it’s one of the greatest things you can do for your loved one.
Don’t try to fix their problem. Listen to your loved one without trying to fix their problems and without judgment. Of course if you can help, please do! But know that what they are feeling may not be something that you can put an easy bandaid on. What’s more important is that you are there to listen and help them work through their thoughts and feelings.
Develop a safety plan. A person in mental health crisis can quickly spiral downward. Help them develop a plan for when things start to get bad. For example, when you start to feel these feelings, step away from the situation and call your support system. Because negative thoughts can grab hold at any time, it’s important to put in place a system for your loved one to act on at the beginning of their symptoms and/or suicidal thoughts.
Know where to go for help. Not everyone is ready or open to talking to a therapist or psychiatrist. That is okay - there are other resources that are available. You can call or text 988 to anonymously talk to a trained counselor. Boost them up with a community of friends, a church or an organization. Stay with them, help them make an appointment with a health professional, and follow-up with them throughout the process. Sometimes it takes time, but getting on a good treatment regimen can be life-changing.
Let’s continue to raise awareness and stop the stigma around mental health. Mental health problems can affect anyone - we have seen many successful, wealthy and powerful people struggle and lose the battle. We need to treat our mind like we would our body and provide it the proper treatment it needs to be healthy.
To find resources in your area, go to Findtreatment.gov.
To call or chat with someone, call or text 988.