NOVEMBER AND PEOPLE WITH GLASS HOUSES
I'm glad October is over; it was a fun month but I am tired! It seems that home and work responsibilities both doubled last month and I'm looking forward to a slower pace now that Halloween is over.
I recently wrote an article about a tough time in my life including how I got through it and the lessons that I learned. It took a lot of self reflection on my part and also helped me in a way because I felt detached from that period in a good way - like I have worked through those emotions, learned, and moved on.
But an instance in the last week made some of those old feelings resurface. Because of my past and the bubble of scrutiny I was in, I think I am very sensitive to people's perceptions of me especially when people are making snap or faulty judgments. I know it should t bother me especially since you can't win over everyone and that what people say about you reflects more on them than you etc....but I was still and still am upset by the situation.
We were at a birthday party last week where my child and another child got into a small toddler skirmish. It was pretty mutual but my toddler was the last one to hit and the situation looked bad even though it was over in an instant (and even though he got punched and got his toy yanked out of his hands!). These are toddlers and as parents, we guide and discipline, but I've noticed that a lot of time, the worst behavior lies in the parents. I try not to judge and give people the benefit of the doubt, but their reaction shocked me so much. After apologies on our part (which the parents ignored) and distancing the children, the parents still chose to escalate the situation. If there was blood or broken bones or a huge safety issue, then I would understand, and if it wasn't a 50-50 situation, then I would understand too! I honestly didn't think it was a big deal since I had let many things go in the past that their child had done to mine, but after they made it a big deal it's bothering me.
Long story short, one of the teachers at my child's school said yesterday, in reference to what had happened, that these were the type of people who threw stones and lived in glass houses. Basically, they saw fault in everyone else but themselves. And the teacher (who knows them), told me it was useless to talk to them. She also told me that their child's behavior problem went much further than this little toddler skirmish and assured me and encouraged me. So, I am supposed to let this go, continue to be polite, and also protect my child. It made me think though, how often do we project onto others the things that are bothering us about our own lives?
How do toddler situations apply to real life? Bad behavior isn't as out in the open the older you get, but it is still there. And how often do we see the bad in other people or a situation while ignoring what was going on with ourselves? It was a lesson to me to continue to be graceful to people and also that people's opinions of me don't matter. As hard as it is, I'm going to have to let go of this one because dwelling on the situation is not going to change the situation, but it will likely make me angry.
Enter the new month today with an open heart. See the good in other people instead of what they are doing wrong. And work on yourself. Look inside to see what mindsets are hindering your love and acceptance of others.
#november #newbeginnings #pharmacist #blogger #parenting #parentingsolutions #parentingchallenges #toddlerfights